Showing posts with label best joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label best joke. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

IMPORTANT HISTORY


> Electing Hillary Clinton president would be like granting Satan
> absolution and giving him the keys to heaven!
>
>
> Amazing to me how much I have forgotten!
>
>
> When Bill Clinton was president, he allowed Hillary to assume authority
> over a health care reform. Even after threats and intimidation, she
> couldn’t even get a vote in a democratic controlled congress. This
> fiasco cost the American taxpayers about $13 million in cost for
> studies, promotion, and other efforts.
>
> Then President Clinton gave Hillary authority over selecting a female
> attorney general. Her first two selections were Zoe Baird and Kimba
> Wood – both were forced to withdraw their names from consideration.
> Next she chose Janet Reno – husband Bill described her selection as “my
> worst mistake.”
>
> Some may not remember that Reno made the decision to gas David Koresh
> and the Branch Davidian religious sect in Waco, Texas resulting in
> dozens of deaths of women and children.
>
> Husband Bill allowed Hillary to make recommendations for the head of
> the Civil Rights Commission. Lani Guanier was her selection. When a
> little probing led to the discovered of Ms. Guanier’s radical views,
> her name had to be withdrawn from consideration.
>
> Apparently a slow learner, husband Bill allowed Hillary to make some
> more recommendations.
>
> She chose former law partners Web Hubbel for the Justice Department,
> Vince Foster for the White House staff, and William Kennedy for the
> Treasury Department.
>
> Her selections went well:
> Hubbel went to prison, Foster (presumably) committed suicide, and
> Kennedy was forced to resign.
>
> Many younger voters will have no knowledge of “Travelgate.” Hillary
> wanted to award unfettered travel contracts to Clinton friend Harry
> Thompson – and the White House Travel Office refused to comply. She
> managed to have them reported to the FBI and fired. This ruined their
> reputations, cost them their jobs, and caused a thirty-six month
> investigation.
> Only one employee, Billy Dale was charged with a crime, and that of the
> enormous crime of mixing
>
> Still not convinced of her ineptness, Hillary was allowed to recommend
> a close Clinton friend, Craig Livingstone, for the position of Director
> of White House security. When Livingstone was investigated for the
> improper access of about 900 FBI files of Clinton enemies (Filegate)
> and the widespread use of drugs by White House staff, suddenly Hillary
> and the president denied even knowing Livingstone, and of course,
> denied knowledge of drug use in the White House.
>
> Following this debacle, the FBI closed its White House Liaison Office
> after more than thirty years of service to seven presidents.
>
> Next, when women started coming forward with allegations of sexual
> harassment and rape by Bill Clinton, Hillary was put in charge of the
> “bimbo eruption” and scandal defense. Some of her more notable
> decisions in the debacle was: She urged her husband not to settle the
> Paula Jones lawsuit. After the Starr investigation they settled with
> Ms. Jones. She refused to release the Whitewater documents, which led
> to the appointment of Ken Starr as Special Prosecutor. After $80
> million dollars of taxpayer money was spent, Starr's investigation led
> to Monica Lewinsky, which led to Bill lying about and later admitting
> his affairs.
>
> Hillary’s devious game plan resulted in Bill losing his license to
> practice law for 'lying under oath' to a grand jury and then his
> subsequent impeachment by the House of Representatives.
>
> Hillary avoided indictment for perjury and obstruction of justice
> during the Starr investigation by repeating, “I do not recall,” “I have
> no recollection,” and “I don’t know” a total of 56 times while under
> oath.
>
> After leaving the White House, Hillary was forced to return an
> estimated $200,000 in White House furniture, china, and artwork that
> she had stolen. What a swell party – ready for another four or eight
> year of this type low-life mess?
>
> Now we are exposed to the destruction of possibly incriminating emails
> while Hillary was Secretary of State and the “pay to play” schemes of
> the Clinton Foundation – we have no idea what shoe will fall next. But
> to her loyal fans - “what difference does it make?”

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Democrats...

My Mommy The  Dancer.
  
One day a  fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a  living.
All the  typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor,  lawyer, and so forth.
However,  little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the  teacher  
prodded him about his mother, he replied, "Well  my mother's an exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front  of men and they put money in her under-wear. Sometimes, if the offer is really  good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for  money."
The teacher,  obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on  some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really  true about your mother?"
No," the boy  said, "She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get  Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that  in front of the other kids."
 

Friday, November 21, 2014

NOT A JOKE...

Subject: WAL-MART VS. THE MORONS..(NOT A JOKE)

This is quite interesting.
Even if you do not forward it, read it all the way to the end...
1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of Every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's Largest private employer, and most speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.
8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had Five years ago.
11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences Will occur at Wal-Mart stores.(Earth's population is Approximately 6.5 Billion.)
12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we
should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.
This should be read and understood by all Americans?? Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!
To: President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt and ineffective:
a..The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 237 years to get it right and it is broke.
b..Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 77 years to get it right And it is broke.
c..Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 74 years to get it right and It is broke.
d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 48 years to get it right;$1 Trillion of our money is confiscated each year andTransferred to "the poor"
..........And they only want more.
e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 47 years to get it right and they are broke.
f..Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 42Years to get it right And it is broke.
g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen Our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000
Employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we Import more oil than ever before. You had 35 years to get it right and
it is an abysmal failure.
You have FAILED in every "government service" you Have shoved down our Throats while overspending our tax dollars.
AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOUCAN BE
TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE
SYSTEM??
Folks, Keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some
of our "duly elected' (they never read anything) and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.
AND We have lost our minds to "Political Correctness" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,? BUT -- In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , Japan
and Turkey ..And Pakistan........previous home of Bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!
Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no extra aid nor do they get any special breaks -- nadda beyond shopping discounts...
Now, it is estimated that 90,000 illegal alien children under the age of 16 will be in our country by the end of the year. We will feed them, provide health
and education and they will get everything a hard working American citizen gets - just for crossing the border illegally.
Obama is proposing we give millions of dollars to El Salvador, Hondouras and Guatamala to "help" the children. Do you really think this money
is going to get to the children that really need it? Meanwhile, Mexico is charging for allowing them to pass through Mexico to get to the US border,
paid for by the drug cartels. They are keeping the Border Guards busy changing diapers while the drug lords funnel tons of drugs into the
US to turn our children into zombies.
In GITMO, the 147 Muslim terrorists have one doctor for every prisoner, a state-of-the art hospital system, are provided Korans
and prayer rugs, food approved by the Koran, exercise and additional perks.
Our Veterans die waiting to see a VA doctor while the directors get bonuses.
AND Congress wants to freeze Social Security payments !



99% of people won't forward this. I'm one of the1% -- I Just Did

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Social Security scam and Terrorist network...



Before reading the information below, I'd like to share an incident that happened to me a couple months ago at a Walgreens. My husband had a new prescription that cost over $200. I have the Balance Rewards card from Walgreens, which honors prescriptions as well as other purchases. So, I asked for the Balance Rewards for this prescription to be added to my Rewards account.
The pharmacist said she couldn't because I was paying for it with an entitlement. I explained that we have never been on any kind of entitlement program. She stated that Social Security and Medicare are entitlements. I tried not to come unglued, but told her nicely that my husband and I had earned our Social Security and Medicare with money paid into these accounts each and every payday. She said she understood, but it was now called an entitlement, and I couldn't get the Rewards points. I could care less about the Rewards points, but was livid that the government now called Social Security (that we paid into all our lives) an entitlement!
To be fair to Walgreens, the pharmacist said that this was a federal law -- that no one on entitlement can benefit from those payments in any way...getting reward points. Wow! The government has their hands in everything! Anyway, now please read the item below...
If you get any Social Security at all, in any manner, you might want to read. Did you know this?
Unfortunately most did not, and I am one of those whose Social Security funds are direct deposited to my bank, thus, I never see the checks. Once again, our beloved congressmen are playing fast and loose with vernacular. What motive did they have for changing the name of our Social Security? I’m sure they have a plan, and it won't be to our betterment.
Here we go. JUST REALIZED THAT WITH REQUIRED AUTO DEPOSIT, I NEVER GET TO SEE THE CHECK .... ALERT EVERYONE YOU KNOW. THIS AFFECTS ALL OF US.* *Subject:* SOCIAL SECURITY becomes FEDERAL BENEFIT CHECK. Have you noticed, the Social Security check is now referred to as a "Federal Benefit Payment"? I'll be part of the one percent to forward this. I am forwarding it because it touches a nerve in me, and I hope it will in you. Please keep passing it on until everyone in our country has read it...
The government is now referring to our Social Security checks as a Federal Benefit Payment. This isn't a benefit. It is earned income! Not only did we all contribute to Social Security but our employers did too. It totaled 15% of our income before taxes. If you averaged $30K per year over your working life, that's close to $180,000 Invested in Social Security.
If you calculate the future value of your monthly investment in social security( $375/month, including both your and your employers contributions) at a meager 1% Interest rate compounded monthly, after 40 years of working you'd have more than $1.3+ million dollars saved! This is your personal investment.
Upon retirement, if you took out only 3% per year, you'd receive $39,318 per year, or $3,277 per month . That's almost three times more than today's average Social Security benefit of $1,230 per month, according to the Social Security Administration ( Google it - it’s a fact).
And your retirement fund would last more than 33 years (until you're 98 if you retire at age 65)! I can only imagine how much better most average-income people could live in retirement if our government had just invested our money in low-risk interest-earning accounts .
Instead, the folks in Washington pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madoff ever did. They took our money and used it elsewhere. They forgot (Knew) that it was OUR money they were taking. They didn't have a referendum to ask us if we wanted to lend the money to them. And they didn't pay interest on the debt they assumed. And recently, they've told us that the money won't support us for very much longer. But is it our fault they misused our investments? And now, to add insult to injury, they're calling it a benefit, as if we never worked to earn every penny of it. Just because they borrowed the money, doesn't mean that our investments were a charity!
Let's take a stand. We have earned our right to Social Security and Medicare. Demand that our legislators bring some sense into our government. Find a way to keep Social Security and Medicare going, for the sake of that 92% of our population who need it.
*Then call it what it is: Our Earned Retirement Income.* 99% of people won't forward this. Will you? *You can bet I WILL!* I THINK WE SHOULD DEMAND THAT THEIR SALARIES AND RETIREMENTS BE CALLED FEDERAL BENEFIT PAYMENTS. THIS WOULD BE MORE HONEST THAN WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY.