How to wash a cat...

Some of you have heard this, but pass it on to those who need a good laugh !!!!!!!


How to Wash a Cat

Go into the bathroom and put both lids of the toilet up
Add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to water in the bowl
Pick up the cat - soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the lid.
At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noise that comes from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!!!!!!
Flush the toilet 3-4 times.
This provides a "Power-Wash & Rinse"
Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure no one is in the path between the bathroom and the front door.
Stand well back behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift the lid.
The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom and run outside
He will now dry himself.
Both your toilet and your cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

Why California is in debt...

Subject: Funny Stuff....but some truth to California's way of thinking!

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog on a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while the Fish & Game Commission conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

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The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.